The Last Skywalker
by TheTwilightMoon
Summary: "The Rise of Skywalker" Spoilers! This is the tale of a man plagued by the horrors of his past, and the future of a Jedi Order built on not only strength and discipline, but love and compassion. BenxOC. Post TRoS.
1. Ben

**A/N:**** Okay, here is the deal with the deal. I haven't written a Star Wars fic since I was about twelve years old. I am now almost thirty, so this is a really weird concept for me. I just saw The Rise of Skywalker, and let me tell you: I am ruined. I really enjoyed the film, but something isn't sitting right with me. So, here we are. This is going to be a learning experience for me, for sure. I do apologize if there is anything misspelt, or there is wrongful lore used. I will learn as I go, but this is something I need to get out, and onto paper, because goddamn Ben Solo deserved better. I do this a lot: I don't like the ending to a character, so I change it. Because screw the system, I guess. Whatever. Here is a word vomit that came to me literally hours after seeing this movie. Enjoy.**

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**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing except Myeaé Barann. All Rights for Star Wars belong to Luacasfilm, and Disney.**

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_The Last Skywalker_

**Chapter One**

**Ben**

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He stared down at her body. It couldn't be real.

Her skin was already cold as he held her to him, his own frame beginning to shake uncontrollably. Above them, the skies of Exegol raged on, shots ringing out, and flames flickering. They reflected in her blank eyes, and he felt hot tears sting his own. He looked around desperately, silently pleading for something, _anything_, to help him now, to help her.

Suddenly, an idea came to him. He had seen her do it, before, upon the ruins of the Death Star. He had seen her use the Force to heal his wounds. She had called upon its powers, and the fatal wound she had given him had been healed, and he had brought back from the brink of death. He had remembered how it had felt, how his lungs had inflated, and his body had been filled with life once more. He had to try. It _had_ to work.

He shifted her in his arms, cradling her head in his hands. A few tears escaped his gaze as he gently laid his hand upon her lower abdomen. He closed his eyes, feeling the Force begin to flow through him. It felt different now, than it had before. It felt clearer, cleaner even, if that was possible. It hadn't felt this way in years, not since… He felt a small stab in his heart, but he pushed it down as hard as he could. He could not afford to feel any pain about that now, not when this was so important. He willed himself to still, to even his breathing. His body tingled, and a small smile formed on his lips. This would work. It would. She would open her eyes, and even if he died bringing her back, at least she would be back. He just wanted to see her open her eyes. Just one last time.

Just one last –

His body jerked. His eyes flew open, and he stared down at her, his face hopeful.

But she did not stir.

He felt a lump form in his throat. It reminded him of the one he had felt when he had seen the vision of his father, and when he had felt his mother before she had… But this was much worse. This feeling was so much worse. He swallowed painfully. Her skin seemed to be getting colder, if that was possible. Her gaze blanker. Tears blurred his vision momentarily, and as he blinked, mixed with the rain, he saw a few of his tears fall onto her face. He shook her gently, and her head lolled to the side, the arm he had draped over his shoulder falling limply with a soft thud as it hit the ground. He felt his voice crack horribly as he whispered into the darkness.

"Rey?"

Her name sounded to small, his voice so broken. He had never spoken it in such a way before. He had never had the chance. He hadn't been able to see until now, until this moment. This painful, gut wrenching moment, as he held her cooling body in his arms. He screwed up his face, bending his head down, his forehead resting upon hers, as he felt the sobs come. Her let out years of anguish that had been building up inside of him. He had turned back to the Light, but too late. Too late to save the woman he had come to love so fiercely, but had denied it for too long. Until now…

The scream that tore through him was unlike any he had ever unleashed before.

It ripped his soul apart. It killed every part of him to know he could not save her. He wasn't strong enough to bring her back. As Kylo Ren he had been able to do anything. But as Ben Solo? He couldn't even save the life of the woman he loved. He was useless. He was a fucking monster who had tried and failed to even think he could be redeemed. His father had been wrong, his mother had been –

The weight of Rey's body suddenly disappeared.

His head snapped up, and found he only held her clothes, now. Her physical body had vanished, and she, like the Jedi before her, had become one with the Force. He was left kneeling there, his leg still aching, and his heart shattered. He sat, head hung, letting the pain hold him, wondering if he were to remain there, if he might be able to join her in the Force. He allowed his heart rate to slow, and his body to still, once again. This time, however, he silently pleaded with the Force to take him too, to give his soul in exchange for hers. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough before?

"Ben."

His head whipped up so fast he thought he had broken his neck. He looked around him, but saw no one. He knew that voice, however. Was it? It couldn't be. He slowly turned again, his eyes for the first time leaving the spot where Rey had died, to look behind him. There, barely visible, was a soft blue glow, and a figure slowly took shape. A figure he thought he wouldn't see again in this lifetime, and especially not here, not like this.

"Mother?" He croaked. His voice was hoarse, broken from crying, and he furiously wiped his eyes. But there she stood, clearer and clearer by the second. Leia Organa materialized slowly, and she moved towards her son, coming to kneel before him. "Mother." This time his voice broke again, and he reached for her, but his hand passed straight through her. He fell slightly, and had to steady himself as he did. He turned, looking back up at her, to see her face filled with sadness as she gazed down at him.

"Ben." Her voice sounded so sad.

"I failed, mother." He whispered, staring up at her from his knees, his body half hunched. "I failed everyone. I came here to help Rey, to save her, so she could rebuild the Jedi Order. But I failed. She's dead. I failed."

Leia smiled sadly, reaching for her son, and for an instant, he felt a cool sensation upon his shoulder, but it was brief. "You didn't fail, Ben. You turned back to the Light. You came here to help Rey stop Palpatine. You showed her that good can triumph, and you helped give her the strength to defeat him. You didn't fail."

He shook his head, a dull anger rising in him, mixed with pain and angst. "I did. I failed. The Jedi Order is over, don't you see? It can never be rebuilt, now. All the Jedi are gone."

Leia shook her head, her smile still fixed in place. "You're _wrong_, Ben. Luke said so once, and now so do I. You are _wrong_. The Jedi order isn't over. There is still hope."

He stared up at her in disbelief. "_How?_ How is there still hope? I don't understand."

Leia reached for him again, taking his face in her hands. This time, he felt her touch, and a new pain washed over him. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to feel it. When he opened them, Leia was looking into his eyes. "You are the future of the Jedi now, Ben. There is still hope because you still live. You came back to the Light for a reason: to help Rey fulfill her destiny, and to remake yours. I stopped my Jedi training because I saw the death of my son at the end. But, now I see that my training can continue through you." He felt something heavy land in his lap, and he looked down to see his mother's light saber there. He slowly picked it up, staring at it, and not her, as she continued. "Take up the mantle, Ben. Further your redemption. Build a new generation of Jedi, under not only strength and discipline, but love and compassion. Teach a new Order how to love but also learn, and they will be stronger than any who came before. This is the destiny of _you_, Ben Solo."

"Mother, I – " He looked back up at her, but she was gone. Vanished into thin air, as Rey had. He looked around, and found he was once again alone. He looked back down at the light saber in his lap, his mother's light saber. He again felt the pain threaten to over come him, but he fought it back. He felt, though it was desperately, small, a glimmer of hope in his chest. Rey had been right about him: he had turned in the end. Maybe his mother was right as well? Maybe he could make the difference he had thought Rey had been meant to. Maybe it was his destiny, in the end, to rebuild the Jedi Order.

He stood, his mother's light saber in hand. He reached out, and his uncle's light saber flew to his other hand. He attached them to his belt, before slowly gathering Rey's clothing in his arms. Her friends would want these, he pondered. If they didn't shoot him on site, that was. That was an encounter he was not looking forward to. He blinked back a few more angry tears, as he thought of her. In that moment, however, he thought he felt her presence. It was small, so small that maybe he had imagined it, or maybe he hadn't. With one last long look around him at the ruins of Exegol, he turned his back upon it all. He began to make his way back towards his ship. Towards something new, and terrifying. Towards something he hoped beyond he would be deserving of. He hoped Rey would be proud. Kylo Ren was dead and gone, now. She had killed him.

Ben Solo would rebuild the Jedi Order.

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**A/N:**** Not long, I know, but this is the start of something, maybe. At least until I feel better about what I witnessed tonight. Don't get me wrong: loved the movie. But, I'd like to try to explore something here, and learn more about a universe I grew up with, and write a story I feel I can be proud of. Also, I'll fix any spelling mistakes as I find them. For now, here's this. Enjoy, fandom! **


	2. Homeworlds

**A/N: Wow, already follows and favs, AND a review? You guys are great. I really hope I can live up to the hype this universe has. Please accept this next chapter. Also, for the record, if things happen than cannot canonically happen, please let me know. I will be researching a wee bit to make sure I write well, but I also enjoy constructive criticism. So, please play nice, and enjoy the story! Also, fun fact: this is the first time I have _ever_ written a story primarily through a male's PoV. So, that's cool, I guess. It'll certainly be a learning experience. **

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**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Myeaé Barann. All Rights for _Star Wars_ belong to Luacasfilm, and Disney.**

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_The Last Skywalker_

**Chapter Two**

**Homeworlds**

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_Ajan Kloss_

The X-wing landed dully upon the mossy ground of the jungles of Ajan Kloss.

Ben slowly stood up, his heart hammering against his chest. He was nervous, but he knew what he had to do. Slowly, he exited the ship, Rey's clothing under his arm. He proceeded through the trees, towards the sounds of people rejoicing. He could see the glow of fires ahead, and smell cooked food, and alcohol. He momentarily felt envy that everyone there was so happy, while he was so broken, with such a burden on his shoulders. He pushed that feeling down, however, and pressed on. As he moved through the throngs of uninterested party goers, he strained to find Rey's friends. Finally, he recognized the two voices of Finn and Poe, and luckily he saw they were not too far away. He slowly made his way through the crowds, and as he did, he felt a few people begin to shift, and suddenly begin to recognize him. He heard the whispers start, and they came to a boiling point when Finn turned, and saw him first. Poe saw him next, and all at once, hundreds of blasters were pointing directly at him.

"_Ren?_" Finn's voice came out in a strangled whisper. His blaster shook violently in his hand. It was aimed directly at Ben's heart.

Ben surveyed him, feeling his pain through the Force. "Finn." He held up his free hand to indicate surrender. "It's Ben now, actually. Kylo Ren is dead." He tried to shrug nonchalantly, but instead was met with jeers. He scowled slightly, but looked back at Finn.

Finn's composure seemed to strengthen. "Why are you here? Where's Rey?" His voice broke, and Ben felt his own heart ache. Finn knew, he could tell. He took a breath, slowly closing his eyes, before opening them again and looking back at Finn, his face riddled with guilt.

"I'm so sorry, Finn."

Tears welled in the man's eyes. "You… you _killed_ her!" He half spat, half screamed the words. Another eruption of whispers and angry jeers filled Ben's ears. He didn't flinch, but he felt their anger like white hot knives in his skin.

He quickly spoke, "_No!_ I didn't. I went to Exegol to _save_ her, to _help_ her." He desperately stared at Finn, "Please, listen to me."

Finn let out a cold, mirthless laugh. "What's there to listen to? You're a murdering _psychopath_, and you got Rey killed! I bet this was your plan all along!" He gestured wildly, "_Grab him._" A few people moved towards him, but Ben stopped them with the Force. As they struggled to move, Ben turned back to Finn, who looked even angrier now.

"I don't want to hurt anyone, Finn. I don't. Please. Here." He slowly placed the folded garments on the ground at his feet. "I've brought her clothes. After she…" He paused, swallowing painfully. "She's one with the Force, now."

Finn stared at the pile of clothing. His agony so apparent, Ben almost wanted to comfort him. "Rey…" Finn whispered. He slowly approached, while Poe kept his blaster trained on Ben, and knelt down, gathering the fabric in his arms. Tears spilled out of his eyes, and he looked back up at Ben, his eyes red.

Ben stared down at him, face calm but filled with pain. "You're Force sensitive, Finn. I can feel it. You know I'm not lying. I have new destiny, and I mean to see it through." He slowly opened his palms to show Finn he meant no harm.

"Finn?" Poe's voice rang out softly. He was regarding his friend, waiting for an answer.

Finn stared at Ben, his eyes searching his face. Ben saw he was seriously considering his words, and he felt the Force change around them for the briefest of instants.

"Finn…" He whispered. Finn seemed to pull himself back, sighing angrily.

"Damn it all." He cursed, and Ben knew he didn't want to believe it, but he wasn't lying. "He's telling the truth. He turned." He whirled on the spot, storming back over to where Poe stood, turning back to face Ben, his face filled with hate.

Poe stared, incredulous. "You mean… he's a good guy now?" He gaped at Ben, while Finn was slowly nodding, looking more torn up. Ben could tell he wanted to believe he was still a Sith, but he knew the Force was right.

"it doesn't matter." Finn rasped bitterly. "Rey's gone, and he's not." His tone was filled with venom. "They should've switched places."

Even Poe turned to look at him now, surprised by his words. "Finn…"

Finn ignored him. He turned to look back at Ben, his eyes filled with a hate so powerful, Ben could almost taste it. "For her sake, we won't kill you. But, I never want to see your ugly face near any Resistance bases, or people, ever again. You hear me? Or I will kill you." The threat itself carried weight, even if Ben knew Finn would never be able to best him in battle, even if he tried his hardest. Still, he admired his spirit, despite it all. "Even if you helped Rey." Finn added, before jamming his finger into the jungle behind them. "Now, get out. Leave."

"I – " Ben started, unsure if he should even mention the new Jedi Order. Would Finn even want to help him? At once, he felt the blasters once again trained on him. He put up his hands again, his eyes never leaving Finn's face.

"I said: _leave._" The man snarled, and Ben took a step back. He knew better than to make this worse than it was.

"Alright. I'll leave. Thank you." He inclined his head slightly, before turning away from the group. The onlookers reluctantly parted ways as he passed through them. As he did, he heard Finn call after him.

"I didn't do it for you."

Ben looked back one final time, his face impassive.

"I know."

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_Tatooine_

The X-wing once again touched down. But this time, it landed upon sand and dust. Ben squinted through the window to try and see anything in the distance, but he couldn't. It looked like a sandstorm had just finished raging through Tatooine's desert, and as he sat there, the swirling of the ground came to a gentle end. He slowly climbed out of the cockpit, and landed softly upon the ground outside the ruins of the nearby farm.

"Luke's farm."

His voice carried slightly through the air, but not far. He could make out the rounded top of the farmstead, and the towers surrounding it. He slowly approached, feeling as if he were intruding upon something very private. He felt odd being here, but he knew why he had to come. He felt in his heart that Rey would have wanted to come here after it was all over. Something about it felt right, but as though he were not the one meant to be here. He felt like he was living out a life not intended for him. This felt wrong.

He slowly came to the entrance to the farm, and looked down upon its innards. He found most of it was filled with sand, after years of neglect due to abandonment, and death. He could feel the Force shift here, and he knew this was a place of great memory. He slowly turned away, and gazed out over the horizon. He pulled Luke's lightsaber from his belt, and slowly began to wrap it in some cloth he had found upon leaving Ajan Kloss. He tied it around the saber, before kneeling down upon the sand. Using the Force, he gently parted the sand, making a small hole, like a miniature grave, and placed the lightsaber inside, allowing the sand to come crashing down upon it, covering it beneath. He sat back on his heels, looking down at the spot the saber had been, already forgetting its exact location. He took a breath in.

"I hope I'm doing the right thing."

"You are."

He nearly jumped out of his skin. It was a voice he hadn't heard in many months, but one he would not soon forget. With all that had happened in the last few days, could he really be surprised by anything anymore? He looked up, and his eyes came to rest upon another faintly glowing, blue figure before him. But it was not Leia, this time.

"Luke?" His voice cracked slightly. He hadn't seen in uncle since… since their duel on Crait, and even then, Luke had be a mere projection of himself. But now… Ben knew what had happened, given how Luke looked so… ethereal. He was looking at Ben with such intensity, he felt uncomfortable. He struggled to find words, and the only that came were: "But… where is my mother?"

Luke walked closer. If it hadn't been for the fact Ben could see right through him, he could've sworn he was flesh and blood, like him. "She felt it would be best for me to speak to you alone." He shrugged, and Ben stared up at him, feeling the sudden weight of everything upon him at once. He felt the lump return to his throat as he thought of Rey, and all he had done, and all he had given up, and could not save.

He took in a shaky breath, before whispering. "I'm… I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to begin to rebuild the Jedi Order." He felt shame, and hung his head. Would he ever be able to shake this feeling?

"That's why I'm here." Luke said passively, "You didn't think I'd let you try to do this alone, did you? We don't need any mistakes."

Ben looked back up at him, eyebrow cocked. "Your confidence it appreciated." He muttered, his tone sarcastic.

Luke blinked, before chuckling slightly. "I'm sorry." He shrugged again, "Leia told me to be kinder to you. It's difficult, all things considered." He meant all the atrocities Ben had committed as Kylo Ren. Ben felt a small stab of anger, but ignored it. That part of him was gone, now.

"Kylo Ren is dead." He said, his voice stronger than before.

Luke gave him a wry smile. "I know."

Ben nodded slowly, "So, what do I do? I thought maybe I could convince Finn to join me in my cause. He's Force sensitive, and he's fought with a lightsaber before. Not well, but he has." He sighed, looking back out towards the setting twin suns. "He would've been useful to have helping me find others."

"He won't come with you, Ben." Luke said matter-of-factly, as though it was such as obvious thing, Ben should've known it before even considering it. "You know this. Even if Rey came back and asked him, he wouldn't."

Ben felt his skin grow icy. If Luke was here, and his mother had come to see him, as well. Could Rey…? He turned to face Luke, hope riddling his features. "Wait, is Rey…?" _Please, Luke, please say yes._

Luke nodded, seeming to sense his question without him having to ask. "She is."

Ben felt the lump return. If he could only talk to her. Explain to her what had happened, and how he had tried so hard to save her. To apologize to her for not coming sooner. "Can… can I see her?" He half begged, half whispered.

"No." Luke's tone was so final, it threw Ben momentarily off guard.

"What?" His voice rose slightly. How dare Luke deny him this! "Why not?"

Luke looked away, his eyes traveling over his farmstead, over his former home. He looked wistful as he spoke again. "She doesn't feel it's the right time. When it is, she'll come to you, but not before."

Ben shut his eyes, feeling the disappointment as it washed over him. "Fine." He growled out, struggling to keep his temper under control. Years of being Kylo Ren had doe a number on his patience, even if he had turned back to the Light. "So what do I do? I can't do this alone."

"I know, that's why I'm here."

_He already said that!_ Ben took a breath to control his inner rage. His uncle was starting to get under his skin, and judging by the look on Luke's face, he was enjoying it. "Are you going to help me train new Jedi?"

"No."

_For fucks_ – "Then _what?_"

"I'm here to tell you that you need find someone else to help you." Luke paused, surveying him for a moment, "And I know who."

Ben blinked, amazed at finally making progress in the situation. "You do? Who? Where are they? Do I know them?" He stared imploringly at Luke, who was starting to smile slightly. He knew something Ben didn't, and Ben once again felt the irritation begin to boil within him.

"Yes. You need to travel to Naboo, and there you will find her."

Hold on, what? Who was Luke… "Her? Naboo?" Ben asked, staring in confusion at Luke. "I don't know anyone on —"

He froze.

It was like a tiny feeling, the smallest tingle. He felt it in the back of his mind, like a whisper from a past he had long since forgotten. It was old, get so familiar, and inviting. A face slowly came into focus, one with grey eyes and crimson hair. He paled, and slowly raised his head to meet Luke's gaze.

"_Myeaé?_"

He hadn't spoken that name in years. He hadn't seen her in years. They had trained together under Luke's tutelage in what seemed like another life. They had grown up together. But she was...

"She's _alive?_" He uttered, hardly daring to believe it.

Luke's smile never wavered. "She is. She, along with few others, escaped the temple that night. Those she escaped with here hunted down and killed, but Myeaé managed to make it off world."

Ben felt a sudden burst of guilt. He remembered that night: the night the temple burned. He remembered the pain he had felt, and now as he looked at the ghost of his uncle, he whispered: "I'm so sorry."

Luke nodded slowly. "I know now it wasn't your fault. It took becoming one with the Force to get there, but I know now. I'm sorry, too. I know it doesn't mean much, and that I failed you in life. You went to Snoke, but I think I helped drive you to him. But, I want to help you now, as much as I can. For not just your sake, but you mother's, and Rey's."

Ben sighed, looking down at his hands. Then, a thought occurred to him, and he snapped his head up again, glaring at Luke.

"Why are you only telling me this now?" He demanded, feeling old anger spike from within. "She could've helped Rey! Helped _me!_"

Luke looked remorseful. "I wanted to protect Myeaé. I know she could've been an asset, but it wasn't the right time. The Force didn't want her to be found, until now. I had to obey its will."

"Why?" Ben snapped, feeling irritated. He'd forgotten how foreboding and cryptic the Force could be.

Luke signed, seating himself down beside his nephew. "It is her destiny now to help you rebuild the Order. She learned under me, she knows the ways of the Force. Even if she hasn't used it in years; even if she's been in hiding."

Ben looked out onto the horizon of Tatooine, a million questions flitting through his mind. "So, what do I do, then?" He asked softly. "How do I find her?"

"Trust the Force." The answer was simple, but frustrated Ben nonetheless. "Go to Naboo, find Myeaé; persuade her to join your cause. She will; I promise."

"But why Naboo?" Ben looked back at his uncle, but found he was gone. He scowled. Damned ghosts. Ben sighed angrily, before hauling himself to his feet, and stowing his mother's lightsaber on his belt once again. He walked back to the X-wing, and climbed in, silently grumbling to himself. He punched in the coordinates for Naboo, took one last look at his uncle's former home, where all of this had begun, before taking off into the darkening sky.

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_Naboo_

Naboo was beautiful.

Ben had never been there, despite his maternal grandmother being from there. It was green and gold, and the towers rose high and rounded into the fading sunlight, sparkling gold and turquoise in the orange glow. He wished he was there on better terms. He felt he could enjoy being there, and he tried not to think about all the planets like this one he had helped to destroy. The thought sickened him to the core. Despite having awoken a new man, as though he had been dreaming for the past several years, he knew his past would haunt him for the remainder of his days. But, that was why he was here, to begin the quest to help heal what he had hurt. For the sake of his family, and Rey.

He slowly landed the X-wing down into a patch of dense wood, so as to not draw attention to himself. He wished he had some robes, a disguise, anything to blend in better. Despite it not being the best choice, he made a mental note to grab the first piece of clothing he saw, and cover himself with it.

He made his way into the closest city, feeling the pull of the Force as he did. The Force had been why he had landed near here, anyway. He had no idea where Myeaé was exactly, but he allowed the Force to guide him. That small tingle in the back of his head was getting stronger the closer he came to this particular city. Thankfully, he passed a nearby farmstead, and managed to steal a brown cloak from the drying rack where clothing hung. He told himself once he got his own clothing, he would return it to the family, and silently thanked them as he hurried away into the oncoming darkness.

He wound his way through streets, down alleys, all the while feeling the Force guiding his feet. Finally, it was when he felt the feeling in his head could grow no stronger, that he found himself standing before the entrance to an orphanage. The building looked dark, but there was a soft glow from within. As Ben reached out to touch the door, he felt the strongest pulse he had yet, and knew he was in the right place. He placed his hand on the door…

…and faltered.

He hadn't seen her in years. What had she heard about him? Did she know? Would she hate him as Rey had for so long? Could he handle another rejection? He took a deep breath. He couldn't answer those questions unless he first tried. He slowly pushed open the door, and was bathed with the glow of candles, and a fire in a small pit in the corner. Before him stood a small counter, and beyond that several doors. He could hear the voices of children softly in the distance, and he was reminded of his time at the temple, with Luke. He smiled slightly, before turning his attention to the woman standing behind the counter, her back to him. The pull towards her was so strong, but he needed to be sure. He cleared his throat softly, and she jerked, but didn't speak.

"I'm looking for someone called Myeaé Barann." He tried, his voice coming out a little more nervously than he had anticipated. He saw the woman momentarily stiffen, and he felt fear emanating from her. He saw her slowly reaching for something on her hip, and realized she had a blaster strapped there.

"No one here by that name." The response was curt, and the woman did not turn at first. She fiddled with whatever she was doing behind the counter, before turning to face him. As she did, and her eyes met his, her false look of ease slid from her face, and her mouth dropped open.

"_Ben?_"

She had crimson hair, long to the middle of her back and in a single braid, adorned with intricate silver bangles. Her eyes were a cool grey, and an ugly scar ran from her left eye and down to her lower cheek bone. She wore a sheer lavender top, exposing her midriff in the summer heat of Naboo. She wore tan pants, and high black boots. She was thin and tall, and only a few years his younger, but older than Rey had been. Her face was pale, and filled with confusion and old pain, as she stared at him. Ben stared back, speaking no words, and his shoulders slightly drooped in shame. He hadn't seen her in so many years, and yet she looked no different. Their eyes held, but only for a moment.

"You're... how?" Myeaé looked shaken, and her voice held a deep loathing, mixed with confusion. "You left. You went to Snoke." Her expression began to shift. "You _betrayed_ us." Her gaze darkened instantly. The hand on her blaster began to move, but Ben sensed it, and quickly subdued her with the Force. As she struggled to move, she turned to glare at him. He had always been stronger than her when it came to Force manipulation.

"I'm sorry, Myeaé. I'm so sorry. I had nothing to do with the killings at the temple, I swear to you. But I do not deny I joined the wrong side. That's why I'm here. I came to make things right." He sounded braver than he felt, but she continued to glower at him. He was used to people looking at him like that, now.

Myeaé scoffed openly. "Make things right? _How?_ What could you _possibly_ do to fix _everything_ you've done?" Her words cut him like a dagger, and he flinched, but pressed on.

"I'm here to ask you to help me rebuild the Jedi Order."

If possible, her mouth fell open even further. "You.. _what?_" Her thoughts were going crazy, and Ben felt overwhelmed for a moment, trying to see through her clouded mind to speak further to her.

He nodded, almost desperately. "Luke Skywalker sent me here."

Myeaé huffed, her eyes glistening with angry tears now. "Luke Skywalker is _dead_, Ben. You expect to believe that?"

Ben ground his teeth. Not the best phrase to use, he had to admit. He decided to try a different avenue. "I turned, Mye. I turned back to the Light. I'm telling the truth. You know the Force. We trained together." His eyes searched hers, silently pleading with her. It was getting harder and harder to hold back her arm reaching for her blaster. She was stronger than he remembered, he now realized. "Search your feelings, Mye, you know I'm telling you the truth." This strategy had worked on Finn, maybe it would for her, too. No one believed him at first, anyway. Could he really blame them?

Myeaé stared at him, unblinking, her anger almost palpable. Then, she slowly closed her eyes, and evened her breathing. She took a few breaths, and he felt her searching his mind. He saw her see the horrors he had faced, what he had done, and how in the end he had come back for Rey, to save her, to help her. She saw him cradling her limp body, his tears, and he conversation with the ghost of his mother, Leia. She saw him go to Tatooine, and bury his uncle's lightsaber, and saw Ben being told to find her.

She saw everything. But more importantly, she felt everything.

Myeaé gasped, and her eyes flew open, which now overflowed with tears, several spilling down her cheeks, as she stared at him.

He felt her name fall from his lips, before his grip on her slipped, and she charged towards him.

_CRACK!_

He staggered backwards. His cheek stung horribly where she had slapped him. He knew a nice bruise was already starting to form. He heard her ragged breaths as she stood in front of him. He blinked rapidly, his brain trying to process what had happened.

"Alright, alright." He croaked, rubbing his aching face, eyes still watering, as he stared at her. "I deserved that."

"You deserve way worse than that, asshole." She growled out. She began to move her hand again, and Ben actually flinched this time, preparing himself for another painful, yet he knew deserving, slap. After a moment of nothing, he cracked an eye, and saw she stood before him now, her hand not posed to strike, but instead outstretched towards him. He stared in confusion, and heard her let out a watery chuckle. Her own face still streaked with tears, but her mouth was cracked in a smile.

"It's good to see you, Ben."

* * *

**A/N: This was a lot longer than I anticipated, but here we are. I know a lot happened in this chapter, but I was excited to introduce Myeaé, so I jumped a lot. The chapters following this one will be slower, but I kinda let this one get away from me. So, yup. Hope y'all enjoyed. And Merry Whatever-You-Celebrate, as well! As always, I will find any mistakes when I take a reread through this.**


	3. Myeaé

**A/N: Hey, y'all, happy holidays! I am back. Big thanks to everyone reading, means a lot. I am still living in the hole that is the Star Wars fandom, and honestly, it's been great to be back. Feels right, man. Alright, let's move on!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Myeaé Barann. All Rights for _Star Wars_ belong to Luacasfilm, and Disney.**

* * *

_The Last Skywalker_

**Chapter Three**

**Myeaé**

* * *

Cheek still aching, Ben accepted a glass of whiskey from Myeaé, who sat across from him, watching him over the stop of her glass. Her grey eyes seemed to burn brightly in the dim light of the room. They had briefly exchanged greetings, after she had slapped him, and now they say in the small parlor of the orphanage, each nursing a glass of whiskey Myeaé had poured for them. Ben rubbed his cheek with his free hand, as he took another swig.

"You throw a mean back hand." He commented idly, after a long drink from his cup.

She chuckled softly, "You had it coming. Remember back at the temple? I kicked your ass in physical combat a lot. You're a tall guy, but you're clunky. You were all feet and legs; it was easy to just push you over."

Ben felt a smile tug his mouth, and they both fell into silence. He knew they were both thinking about the same thing: their days training with Luke. The memories they had were positive, but the aftermath was painful. Ben looked down at his cup, before muttering aloud.

"Mye… about the night at the temple…"

She raised a hand to silence him. "I know. Remember, I can use the Force, too. I know what really happened, now. It wasn't you who set the place on fire. At the time, I think we all thought you did, and we hated you for it. But, I know it wasn't you who issued the order to kill everyone, either."

"How did you escape?" Ben asked, curious. Myeaé looked thoughtful for a moment, and he knew was she remembering that night. It was causing her pain, and he felt guilt bubble inside him again. "I'm sorry. If it's too painful to talk about, I understand."

She smiled, her face softening slightly, and Ben was reminded of the girl he grew up with, in that moment. The smile faded as quickly as it had appeared, however, as she spoke again. "It's okay. If this was years ago, then it would hurt too much to talk about. But, I've had times to process it, and while it still hurts, I can speak of them fondly, now. Our friends. The other students."

Ben didn't know if he wanted to know the answer to his next question, but he asked it anyway. "What happened to them? What happened that night?"

Myeaé looked down at her glass, thinking of the right words. "I know Luke told you that everyone else was hunted down," she looked back up at him, and he saw her eyes glistened slightly. "When the temple began to burn, I gathered as many of the others as I could who hadn't bee cut down yet, and we fled into the night. A few were children, others were around our age. We got separated as we ran, and a few were shot. I saw them fall, but we had to keep going. All that matter was a few of us made it to safety. All the new Jedi, that we knew of anyway, were in the temple. If we lost everyone, the Jedi Order would fall again. I couldn't let that happen. Ten of us escaped, and by the time we stopped running, there was four of us left. Myself, and three children." Here she paused, and Ben saw her take a shaky breath in. He instinctively reached for her hand, but she pulled away, shaking her head. "I'm fine. Anyway, one of the children got scared by something. I don't remember if it was a noise, or a flash, but she ran. I told the other two to wait for me, and took off after her. I was almost to her, when I heard two shots from behind me, and the Force me I had lost the other two. It killed me, but I knew I had to keep going. I could sense her nearby, and just as I saw her ahead of me, I saw her get cut down. I was the only one left."

Myeaé paused here, her tears now falling freely, and she blinked rapidly, taking another deep drink from her cup, before going to refill it. Ben watched her, his own thoughts spinning. He had had no idea of the horrors everyone else had faced that night. Hearing this now, he felt a new wave of horrific guilt wash over him. He too, took a longer drink of whiskey, and Myeaé handed him the bottle from behind her.

"You look like you could use more, too." He accepted it gratefully, and a small smiled cracked her lips, before she continued. "So, you wanted to know how I escaped?" Ben nodded, putting down her cup. "Luckily, one of the idiot pilots wasn't watching where he was going, so I was able to subdue him, and I stole his ship. It was small, but I was able to get off world, and fly to the nearest planet, where I hid out for a few weeks."

Ben cocked a brow, "That is lucky."

She shrugged, "Something or someone was watching out for me that day. I planet hopped for a few months, before finally coming here. I use the name Rhea here, by the way. So don't call me Myeaé, or people might get suspicious. I care about these kids, and I don't want to put them in any danger."

"So, why Naboo?" Ben asked, "why an orphanage?"

"Well, if you hadn't gathered already, I feel like I let those kids down who died the night the temple fell. I think working with children again now, and helping them find homes and lead lives is a good way to help me atone for that. I'll never truly be able to forgive myself for what happened, but at least now I know I can do some good here, for them." Myeaé leaned back in her chair, looking at him, "And, Naboo is beautiful, and the Empire had a pretty good grip on this place, and same with the First Order. So intelligent Jedi would hide here, or at least that's probably what they thought. I hid my lightsaber, and I've been here ever since."

She was watching him now, and he casually pointed to the scar on her left eye. "That's new. How did you get that?"

A pale hand absently reached for the scar. "Oh, that was from the night the temple burned. The sonofabitch I killed left it on me – "

"Rhea?"

They both jumped, and Myeaé turned to reveal a small child standing behind her. Ben realized they had been so engrossed in conversation they hadn't even noticed the door open behind them. The child was young, possibly no older than four or five, with sandy blonde hair, and brown eyes. She looked up at Myeaé, her eyes wide, and filled with tears.

"Oh, Kara, sweetling, what's wrong?

Ben stared at Myeaé. All at once, her entire body language changed. She went from being bitter, sad, and exhausted, to warm, soft, and almost motherly. It was such a drastic change, it left him speechless, as the little girl approached them. Myeaé extended a hand to her, and she reached out, taking it.

"I had a nightmare." She sniffed, and Myeaé's face softened further. She gently brushed a lock of the girl's hair aside, comforting her.

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" She smiled, and Kara smiled back, revealing her missing front teeth. "Go back to bed, and I'll be right there to tuck you back in, alright? I'll bring you some warm milk, too." Kara nodded, and was about to leave, when she looked back, noticing Ben sitting there with his mouth slightly open, like a fish.

"Who's that?" She asked, and Myeaé glanced sideways at Ben.

"This is Ben," she said, her voice slightly more wary now, and she eyed Ben, silently telling him to be nice, and not reveal too much. "He's an old friend."

Kara blinked at Ben, "Hello." She said simply.

Ben pulled himself back together. "Uh, hi." He stuttered, and Kara turned back to Myeaé.

"He's weird. He's got a big nose."

Ben's eye widened, and Myeaé had to suppress a loud snort of laughter. "Kara, that isn't nice," she managed to choke out between laughs, "go back to bed, I'll be right there." Kara nodded, and disappeared back down the hall. Myeaé stood quickly, grabbing a cup and filling it with some nearby milk, warming it, and disappearing after her.

Ben sat in silence, slowly processing all that was going on. Myeaé was not the same girl he had grown up with, that was for sure. She was flawed, as he was, not in the exact same ways, but flawed. She had seen horrors, horrors he had caused, even indirectly. But, she was trying to do good by it, instead of letting it define her, as he had. Perhaps Luke was right… Myeaé seemed like a good choice to help him rebuild the Jedi Order. He hoped she'd agree, anyway. He had a _lot_ of redemption to continue if he wanted to make things right. He also knew there was no way in hell he could do it alone.

Myeaé returned a moment later, and Ben felt a small smile tug his mouth. She sat down, saw the look on his face, and her eyes narrowed. "What?" She snapped. Well, that was short-lived warmth.

"It was strange, seeing you with that child." Ben acknowledged. "You were never that patient with the young ones when we trained with Luke."

Myeaé's mouth had formed a thin line, but when she spoke, her voice was not unkind. "I have to be strong for these kids. They need it more than I do." Ben nodded slowly, and Myeaé leaned back in her chair. "Now, assuming there are no more diversions." She raised a brow at him, "Let's talk about what you were saying earlier: about rebuilding the Jedi Order. And why you apparently need my help."

* * *

Ben sat back in his chair. He stared at Myeaé, who had her head in her hands. He had just finished telling her about everything that had happened in the last year, and now they sat in silence, while she processed it all. After a moment, she choked out:

"You are really lucky I can use the Force, and I know you're telling the truth that you turned." She looked up, wiping a few tears from her eyes. It had been a lot of information to take in in such a short amount of time. "Or I'd have blasted you halfway across Naboo, and you'd be in little pieces."

Ben gave her a wry smile, "Understandable."

"And you really don't feel any darkness in you anymore. None at all?" She sounded incredulous. "You aren't the same Ben Solo I remember, but you certainly aren't the mass murderer Kylo Ren was called, either. I can't imagine you doing any of the stuff you just told me."

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment. "The darkness is gone, yes. I don't feel the pull from the Dark Side anymore. My desire for power evaporated when I threw that lightsaber into the water. It was… surreal. All I could think about after that was stopping Palpatine. About Rey…" He faltered, and Myeaé quickly changed the subject. She had been able to guess early on how Ben had felt, still felt, about Rey.

"So, let me get this straight: your uncle and mom came to you as ghosts – "

"Force ghosts."

"Sure. And they told you that it's now _your_ job to rebuild an entire order of Jedi, from _scratch?_ And that I am supposed to help you because "the Force says so", according to Luke Skywalker?"

Ben felt himself inwardly cringe. Hearing it aloud made it sound crazy. "Yes." He managed not to sound too tentative.

Myeaé stared at him for a long moment, before bursting out laughing. She leaned back in her hair, hands on her belly, shoulders shaking, and head thrown back. Her laugh was quiet, so as to not wake the sleeping children, but it moved her entire body nonetheless. Ben watched her, mouth a thin line, and feeling mildly annoyed. This was a serious matter! It wasn't a joke! He was about to interject, but she spoke again, having calmed.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh at you, or at this. It just sounds so crazy if you really think about it!"

Ben tried to sound casual, "I know. But I wouldn't be here if it weren't true." He leaned forwards on the table, gazing at her imploringly. "I need your help, Mye. Please."

Myeaé took a long, deep breath in. She closed her eyes, and Ben could tell she was thinking. Her lips moved silently, and he knew she was pondering the pros and cons of the situation. He himself closed his own eyes, mentally preparing for the inevitable refusal to abandon the children here, and traipse across the galaxy in search of people to help them form a small army. Well, an Order. Whatever.

"Alright."

The word surprised him. His eyes flew open, and he stared at her. Had he heard her correctly? He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing her. She blinked back, expressionless.

"What?"

"Alright, I'll come with you." Her tone as flat, but he could see a small smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.

He gaped at her, hardly daring to believe it. "You... you will?" Was he finally getting somewhere? Was this was real success felt like?

Myeaé eyed him, her arms folded across her chest, now. "Look, there are a few children here who are Force sensitive, Kara being one of them." When Ben's eyes widened, she nodded, but held up a hand to keep him silent. "When I realized it, I made them hide it from the other matrons here. I didn't want them to be taken away," she paused, and her brows knitted together, "or worse. I feel terrible knowing I had to stifle that part of them, but it was to protect them. If you're serious about this, and we can find a safe place to train them, then I'm in."

Ben had no way to express to her how grateful he felt in that moment. He was certain if Luke, or Leia, or even Rey, were there, they'd have been proud. At least, he hoped. He managed to stutter a response. "I... okay. Thank you, Mye."

She nodded, getting to her feet. "Do you have a ship?" She asked, as she began moving around the tiny room, grabbing things here and there, and setting them together on the counter.

"Yes, but it's small. It'll barely fit the two of us." The X-wing would not be a good choice, he realized. Why hadn't be thought of that before coming here?

Myeaé's jaw worked around for a moment as she thought. She looked down at him. "Fine. I have some credits saved from working here for years. I wanted to save them for an emergency, like food or water, but I guess this counts. It'll buy us a ship; not a big one, mind you, and it won't be very fast, but it'll fly. And it'll fit us and the few kids here who are Force sensitive, at least. Whatever I had left, I'll try to get some sticks or training batons to use for the children."

"Sticks?" Ben asked, raising a brow.

Myeaé rolled her eyes, ceasing her movement to stare at him. "Don't you remember? We trained with those at first, back in the day. Unless you want to be the one handing a plasma sword to a child, and calming them down when they cut off a finger, or someone else's limb."

Ben actually chuckled at that. "Good point. And no, I don't think I'd be good with kids."

Myeaé stared at him, her expression somewhere between amused, and exasperated. "You want to rebuild the Order, and you worry you're not good with kids? Hooray for me." Ben laughed slightly, and she made a face, before continuing. "But first, we need to find somewhere safe to train them. Somewhere no one can find us. Even with Sidious dead, there will still be First Order and Empire loyalists running around for years to come." She stood, walking back over to the counter where she had gotten the whiskey. Over her shoulder she spoke again. "Any ideas? It needs to be somewhere the First Order can't find. Somewhere uncharted, maybe, I don't know."

"I don't know either," Ben admitted. "I haven't —"

_Ahch-To._

Ben started, looking around. Who said that? He strained his ears, listening. It had sounded like...

_Go to Ahch-To, Ben. The birthplace of the Jedi. Train there. I can help you._

It was Luke's voice he heard. But within his mind. It reminded him of how Snoke had spoken to him, but it didn't cause him mental pain to hear it. A nice change. But now… Ahch-To? He'd never been there. How could he find it? He silently asked Luke what to do, and he felt the response come as a distant whisper, and he felt a surge of confidence. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in years, and it felt foreign, but welcomed. For the first time in what felt like years, and genuine smile passed across Ben Solo's face.

"Myeaé," he called, and she turned. He stood up from the table, quite literally towering over her. In that moment, he saw a flicker of intimidation in her eyes, but it passed as quickly as it had appeared. Ben raised his chin, feeling a familiar sense of power rush through him. It emulated his days as Kylo Ren, but now, it came from a place of confidence, rather than fear. On his hip, it felt as if his mother's lightsaber began to pulse, as the Light side of the Force coursed through him like a reinvigorating fire.

"I know where we can go."

* * *

**A/N: Alright, y'all, that's all I have in me for tonight. I hope everyone enjoyed! Trying to write Ben's character as Ben Solo rather than Kylo Ren has been… challenging. I'm maybe going to give him a few outbursts as Kylo Ren here and there, but I'd like to try to channel Han and Anakin in this. I don't know. Anyway, Merry whatever! See y'all soon.**


	4. Ahch-To

**A/N:** **Hey, friendos! I return. As usual, thanks to everyone who is reviewing and reading this. You guys are awesome! Please enjoy this next chapter!**

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**Disclaimer:** **I own nothing except Myeaé Barann. All Rights for **_**Star Wars**_ **belong to Luacasfilm, and Disney.**

* * *

_The Last Skywalker_

**Chapter Four**

**Ahch-To**

* * *

_Naboo_

_Her eyes began to slowly sink back into her head. They rotted away, and he watched in horror as her jaw began to unhinge. It came loose, bone and flesh clattering to the rocky ground beneath them. He felt her warmth become ice, and her skin turn to ash and sand. Her hair became brittle, and the once beautiful, strong woman he had fallen in love with disintegrated before him. He struggled to gather her in his arms, but he could not. Every grab his limbs seemed to move slower. He could hear laughter in the background, but did not know the voices. He could hear her screaming, accusing him of coming too late, and of leaving her to die. She blamed him, they all did. It was his fault. He was the monster she said he'd been. He was responsible for all of this. His family would be so ashamed of him. He could not save her, he had killed so many. He deserved no better than the deepest pit of whatever Hell there was… _

Ben started awake.

His body was drenched in sweat, and his heart was pounding in his chest. He looked wildly around, for a moment forgetting where he was. When he saw the faint sunlight filtering into the tiny room on which floor he slept upon, did he remember what had happened. He realized it had been the first time he had slept since… Well, since it all.

The night before, Myeaé had told him he could either sleep in the X-wing, or on her floor in her room, but nowhere else. She wasn't usually allowed visitors, especially unknown _male_ visitors, so if they were caught, so to speak, it would look better if they were not sleeping in the same bed. That, and neither of them wanted to, anyway. He had been given a small blanket, a pillow, and had fallen asleep on the wooden floor of her bedroom, only now to be awoken from a terrible nightmare. He rubbed his eyes, trying to forget the horrors he had seen in his unconscious state. He remembered, before he had awoken, something cool on his forehead, and… someone touching his face? He distinctly remembered someone whispering to him, words of comfort he felt, and it had put him at ease. Enough to wake him up, anyway. He looked around, and saw a small cloth on the floor beside him. He picked it up, and found it was damp. Confused, he looked around, wondering who had placed it there.

"Good, you're up."

He jumped, and saw Myeaé standing in the doorway. Her red hair was half loose, and she was busy trying to tame it into an intricate braid. Today, she wore a navy tunic, and the same tan pants and black boots. She was giving him a strange look, somewhere between pity, and impatience. "Myeaé?" He looked back down at the cloth, before picking it up, and glancing back over to her. He raised it silently, giving her a quizzical look.

Her eyes went wide for a moment, before she cleared her throat. "Oh, that. You were flailing around and sweating a lot. I thought you might be sick." She walked passed him, gathering a few things off her bed. She kept her back to him, but he continued to speak to her.

"Were you talking to me?" He asked, curious if he had been imagining it or not.

She stiffened, but did not turn. "What? No. You must've imagined it." Her voice had an edge to it, and when she turned back to walk to the other side of the room, he saw a faint pink tinge in her cheeks. He felt a smirk tug at his lips.

"You're going red." He pointed out, and she threw him a look over her shoulder.

"I am not!" She said the words a bit too loud to be entirely believable. She sighed, "Just get up, we need to be out of here as soon as possible." She strode passed him, and he climbed to his feet, nearly hitting his head on her ceiling. The room was small, and he was almost too tall for it. He ducked out the door after her, calling down the hall to her.

"What did you tell the other matrons?"

She put a finger to her lips, silently pointing down the hall, where the sound of voices could be heard. He nodded once, and she walked back up to him. The top of her head came to just below his nose, and she looked up at him. "I told them I had an emergency that was taking me off world for a bit." Her voice was barely above a whisper, and he had to strain to hear her.

"They don't know you trained, do they?" He hissed back, as they slowly moved down the hall together.

She shook her head. "No, and I'd like to keep it that way."

He nodded. "Understood."

He waited patiently for her in the entryway as she flitted about the rest of the orphanage, saying her goodbyes to the children, and to the other matrons. She promised to come back soon, and Ben felt a small stab of pity for her. He knew how much she loved these children, and how hard it would be to say goodbye, for now. He knew she'd hopefully be seeing a few more soon, but not all of them. After a few more moments, Myeaé returned, wiping away a few tears. She had a pained smile on her face, slinging a bag over her shoulder, before pointing to another door leading out to a walled off garden area.

"I need to get something. Come with me."

They exited through the back door, and Myeaé guided them to a small rock wall, at the back of the patch of green and trees. There were a few large bushes that kept them hidden from view, and judging by the small smile on her face, Myeaé had deliberately chosen this place. Ben looked around, confused. There was nothing here, but he could sense something. Something strong. Something familiar.

"You might want to stand back." Myeaé told him, shooting him a grin. He obliged, and she slowly turned back to face the wall. She whispered something to herself, slowly closing her eyes. She extended her hands before her, palms vertical, parallel to the wall. She exhaled slowly, and Ben heard the first crack.

It was faint, but unmistakable. As he watched, two of the larger rocks near the center of the wall began to move and shift. They slowly pushed themselves out of the wall, and lowered to the ground. He squinted, and could make out a small wooden box, long and thing, tucked into the dirt behind them, like a small cupboard, or an alcove. He looked at Myeaé, and noted her odd expression. She was gazing at the box with admiration, and fear. She slowly put her hands down, and approached the wall. She reached inside, taking the small item into her hands. She opened the box, and Ben was able to see what was inside.

It was the hilt of a lightsaber.

He immediately looked at Myeaé, and saw her face was filled with mixed emotions. There was pain, joy, nostalgia, and triumph. She let the box fall to the ground, where the lid snapped off, but she paid it no mind. She turned to face him, and her lips were pulled back into a grin. With one swift motion, she ignited the saber. It hummed to life with a powerful green beam, the same colour as the garden around them. It reflected in her grey eyes, and shimmered off her dark red hair. Her skin glowed emerald, and she beamed up at him, her face entirely changed. Ben felt as if we here looking at the young woman from his past, the one with whom he had sparred, learned, and grown with.

"Ready?" Her eyebrows shot up, and her tone almost giddy. Ben nodded, and the green beam vanished, as she stowed it in her bag.

"I don't remember it being green." He commented, as they sprinted back through the garden, and out onto the nearby street. Day time had really changed the way the area looked, Ben noted. He could smell spices in the air, and saw people milling around, chattering and laughing, beginning their days.

"I haven't used it in years," Myeaé muttered as they hurried down the street. "It felt good to see it again. I know I'll be rusty, but I can't wait to use it."

Ben glanced sideways at the young woman as they strode down the path. "Well, when we get to where we are going, we'll have to practice."

Myeaé gave him a sardonic smile. "Think you can take me, Solo?" Ben actually stopped in his tracks at this. Myeaé took a few steps, and looked back at him, still grinning. He was reminded of her younger self again. He had to admit: he had missed her. They had always poked fun at one another back at the temple. Back when he had felt… Well, before he had been seduced by the Dark Side, anyway. Before all of it. His mouth half curbed in a smirk, and he inclined his head.

"In my sleep, Barann."

Myeaé blinked are him for a second, before chuckling. "Your dad really came out, there."

Ben felt a small stab of pain, but it was coupled with a fierce surge of pride. "Thanks." They smiled at one another, before Myeaé turned and pointed down the road towards the heart of the city.

"I'm going to go buy the ship. Give me your coordinates where you landed yours; I'll meet you there and we can leave Naboo together."

* * *

"Is this…? It is. This is an X-wing. How did you get one?"

Myeaé stood, staring in awe at the slightly weathered ship before her. She ran a hand along the metal, taking it all in. Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates, and she turned to stare at Ben, impressed.

Ben shrugged, "It was my uncle's. Then Rey…" he paused, struggling to move past the mental barrier of talking about her.

Myeaé nodded quickly, "I get it." Her face turned gentler, and she made a beeline for her own ship which she had landed only moments before. Let's go."

Ben glanced over. "Is that a cargo ship?"

It was big, not too big, mind you, but bigger than the X-wing. It was rectangular, and the colour of rust. There was a cockpit, and Ben could see the windows were covered in some dirt, and the inside wasn't any better. Over all, it was a hunk of junk.

Myeaé pulled a face while staring at it. "It is. It's all I could afford, but it'll work. We can transport people relatively safely in here." Ben made a noise deep in his throat, and Myeaé scowled.

"Relatively?" Ben tried to hide a smile. Myeaé gave him a withering look, and leaned against the side of her ship.

"So, where are we going?"

* * *

_Ahch-To_

"This place… It's amazing. There's so much water!"

Myeaé stood on the cliffs of Ahch-To, her eyes shining, as she gazed out over the water. The sunlight reflected on the surface, and sparkled in her eyes. She turned to look back at Ben, and he could see the excitement in her eyes. It had taken them a while to finally arrive. The ship Myeaé had bought kept skipping, and he'd had to double back a few times to find her. When they had finally arrived and Myeaé had seen Ahch-To, he had heard to gasp through their communicator.

"It's…incredible." She whispered. "Ben, this place is _huge!_" He chuckled lightly, but he had to agree with her. This was his first time to the planet, as well, but while he did find it objectively beautiful, he wasn't nearly as amazed as Myeaé. They had touched down, and Myeaé had leapt out, running to the nearest cliff to look at the water. Now, she was staring at him, her face split in a huge smile.

"This is Ahch-To." Ben informed her, coming to stand beside her. He could feel the Force's strength in the place. Luke had been right to tell them to come there.

Her eyes went wide. "No way, really? Isn't this the…" She trailed off, incredulity in her voice.

Ben nodded again, "The birthplace of the Jedi Order, yeah. Luke told me to bring us here."

Myeaé tilted her head. "He told you?"

"He speaks to me sometimes. In my mind." Ben kept his voice even, but Myeaé was staring at him, shaking her head slightly.

"You Skywalkers really are powerful. Amazing." She mused, and Ben felt his face grow warm. Myeaé turned to look up the cliffs now. She could see the stone houses dotting the rocky landscape. "What about the locals? Are they hostile?"

That was something Ben actually did not know. "I don't know. But considering both Luke and Rey were able to live and train here, I'd say we'll be safe, as long as we respect the space."

Myeaé was nodding, but not really listening. She kept looking around her, spinning on the spot a few times. "This place is ancient. I can feel it in the Force." She faced Ben again, "It's perfect." She gave him her first genuine smile he'd seen since finding her. He felt his own begin to form as she spoke again. "Okay, what should we do now?"

_Good question._ Ben mulled it over for a second, before answering. "Establish camp, I guess. I'm sure there are some abandoned houses here somewhere."

"Is Luke telling you anything?" Myeaé asked, as they began to ascend nearby stone steps leading towards the nearest group of houses.

Ben paused for a moment, listening. He shook his head, feeling slightly dejected. "No, I can't hear him. For once, he's quiet." _For once, _he thought, somewhat bitterly. _I shouldn't have to rely on him for everything, but it's been helpful so far. _

Myeaé jogged ahead of him, pointing back towards the horizon. "Come on, it's getting late." It was true. The planet had two suns, like Tatooine, and they were already getting low in the sky. Had they really been travelling all day? He glanced back at her when she spoke again. "We should make some food, and then rest. First light: we spar." Her grin was back, and Ben smiled tiredly back. "I'm looking forward to seeing how your fighting style has changed."

That wasn't something he had considered. He paused, and they took on the stone steps for a moment. "It's all over the place right now." He admitted, "When I was Kylo Ren, it was more chaotic, more ruthless." He grimaced slightly, remembering it. It felt like another person's memories he was revisiting. "I don't know what fighting style I'll have now. I barely had a chance to find out." The image of Rey's dead body flashed in his mind, and he nearly tripped over a rock as they kept walking. His heart began to ache, and he looked anywhere but at Myeaé as she spoke to him again. He couldn't wait to find a bed, and try to sleep. Perhaps tonight he wouldn't be plagued by nightmares.

"Well, then we'll find out together, won't we?" Myeaé was saying. He felt her reach out and grab his arm, pulling him along with her. He hadn't even noticed he had stopped walking. Her hand was cold. "Come on."

* * *

"_We are a Dyad, Ben. How could you let me die? How can your soul heal now, if part of it is missing?"_

_He tried to move. He couldn't. His body was being held back by something. He watched her, as she approached the darkened throne, and the monstrosity hovering above her. He tried to scream out to her, to tell her not to do it, but his mouth felt like it had sewn shut. He watched in horror as she swung her lightsaber, but when it made contact, she crumpled in on herself. He screamed, but it made no sound._

_The air swirled around him, and he was flying backwards, being sucked into a black hole. He heard screams, and saw a fire in the distance. He heard children sobbing, and a man's voice, screaming along with them. He heard laughter, high and cold, and it pierced his skin. He heard the sounds of blasters being fired, and saw a forest being split in two. He saw a red room, and he felt his heart begging for her. He saw her face, tear streaked, demanding to know why he was so twisted, so tormented. He he felt her fingers touch his. He felt his soul being shredded as her skin grew colder, and colder. _

"_Ben." His mother. She sounded so broken._

"_Ben." His father. He betrayed him. _

"_Ben." His uncle. He was ashamed of him. _

"_Ben!" Her. He would never see her again._

"_Ben." They surrounded him now. He could see the whites of their eyes. He could see their teeth, bared and ready to attack him. He saw the future. His students, cut down or slipping into darkness. He would fail them, too. _

"_Ben._

"_Ben."_

"_Ben."_

"BEN!"

He sat straight up, but as he moved to attack, he felt his arms could not move. The room slowly came into focus, and he saw a small fire in the centre. It glowed behind a darkened figure who sat upon his bed. Whose hair shone like magma in the firelight, and whose hand was outstretched, pinning his arms to his sides, preventing him from hurting her, or himself. Her face came into focus, and he saw the grey of her eyes, and felt her free hand resting on his chest.

"Myeaé?" Her name sounded foreign on his tongue. He felt himself reaching towards her, and realized she no longer held him back. His hands found hers, and they squeezed his, hard. As he came down from the terror, he felt his eyes sting suddenly. He blinked furiously, and looked down. It had felt so real. He felt his lip tremble, and he mentally scolded himself. He was an adult, this was not a good reaction. He tried to steady his breathing, to reach out to the Force, but he found he couldn't. He was filled with so much conflict, and every breath felt like he had run across Tatooine's desert and back, three times over. He felt his body begin to crumble inside itself, when Myeaé suddenly moved closer, and pulled him into an embrace. She held him to her, and he felt himself start to shake. He felt her gently stroking his back, and murmuring words of comfort. He was so far gone into his own psyche, he didn't have the ability to even question her actions, or wonder what had prompted them.

"It's okay, you're okay." Myeaé was whispering into the darkness, and he felt a few tears spill from his eyes. It was a lot to deal with, and Light knew he had no idea how he was going to survive this.

"Mye…I —" He tried to choke out, but he felt her only hold him tighter. He hadn't been held like this since last his mother had… The thought of her only made him hurt more.

"Don't." She whispered. He felt her hair resting atop his head, which he had bent down, and resting in the crook of her neck. It was, honestly, the safest he'd felt in a long time, especially given that they'd only just reunited. "It's okay, it's okay. I know."

"Mye —" He managed to whisper, but she hushed him gently. She slowly let go of him, gently pushing him back down onto the bed. He stared up at her, too tired and too mentally exhausted to question what was going to happen next.

She hovered above him for a moment, studying his face. After a pause, she said, "Try to go back to sleep. I'll sit with you until you do." She leaned away, and sat back on the foot of his bed. She folded her hands in her lap, and her eyes travelled over his face. He could see they glistened slightly. He felt badly he was causing her pain.

"You will?" He wanted to apologize, but something told him not to. If he knew Myeaé at all, she wouldn't have it. He had forgotten how empathetic she had been back in the day. A rarity, of course, but there was a reason the children at the orphanage had appreciated her, just as he did in that moment.

"Yes." Her voice broke a little, but she nodded her head.

"You don't have to." He whispered. But, he wanted her to. He couldn't face another nightmare like that again. At least, not alone. He knew that, and there was no shame in it.

She tried to smile, but just looked pained. "Stop arguing. Try to sleep. I'll be right here, I promise." The light reflecting on her face gave her a soft, golden glow. "I'm not going anywhere." She whispered.

And for the first time in what felt like a millennia, Ben actually believed those words.

* * *

**A/N:** **Woooo, another one down. I hope this wasn't too depressing. I really want to build a good foundation for these two as friends who've been through a lot. And Ben has been through a crazy amount, so I don't want him to just get off without some lasting damage. Anyway, the next chapter should be slightly more positive. Happy trails, for now!**


	5. Memories

**A/N: EDIT: OKAY, since yesterday, I have been seeing an error when I update my story, where it doesn't show the new chapter having been posted, and only when you click on the story does it show a recent chapter update. So, sorry to keep posting the same chapter over and over, I am trying to figure out what's going on. Apologies to the reviews on chapter 5, I had to reupload for a 4th time tonight. ugh. END OF EDIT. Hello! Round five, here we are. I haven't written this fast or consistently since about 2015, so this is fun. I'll have to take a break updating this fic to update another one on my page eventually, but that won't be right away. Gotta find a good balance. Oh, also! For anyone wondering how to pronounce Myeaé's name, it's MY-EE-AE. Similar to Padmé, if y'all recall. Anyway, enjoy!**

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**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Myeaé Barann. All Rights for Star Wars belong to Luacasfilm, and Disney.**

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_The Last Skywalker_

**Chapter Five**

**Memories**

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Ben awoke slowly, and for that, he was grateful. It gave him time to process what had happened the night before. He remembered Myeaé seated with him on his bed, and as he turned to crane his neck, he saw her slumped on the floor, head resting on her knees, breathing softly. It took him a moment to register that she must've been there all night. He sat up as carefully as he could, so as to not jostle her awake. He sat there hugging his own knees beneath the thin blanket one of the Lanai people (as they had discovered they were called) had given him, and watched her sleep. Not in a sinister or creepy way, but in a curious one. He pondered her change of heart from being sarcastic and somewhat cold, so being kind and caring, much as she had been when they had been younger. He knew he had made mistakes in his life, horrible mistakes, but now was his time to try and atone for those things. Maybe Myeaé believed in him more than he realized. Maybe she still —

She stirred, and opened her eyes. Ben almost fell off the bed in surprise, and she turned to look at him, a small smile on her face. "Good morning, Ben. Agh!" Her hand flew to her neck, and she winced. "I must've pinched a damn nerve sleeping like that. Damn it all." She rubbed her neck, her face twisted in pain, before she scrambled up from the floor. Ben heard her bones pop and crack as she did, and he tried to hide a smile. Even with her personality shift, he knew they weren't young kids anymore, they were grown, and had each seen much in the last several years. He watched her as she stumbled over to the fire pit, grabbing a metal pot, before spinning on the spot to face him, her red braid almost whipping her in the face.

She brushed it away, before announcing. "I'm going back to my hut, to get ready. I'll make some soup or something, if you're hungry, give me about twenty minutes." She began to leave, but as she nearly reached the door, Ben called after her.

"Hey, Mye?" She turned back, and he nodded once to her. "Thanks."

A ghost of a smile passed across her face, and she nodded back. "Don't mention it. I meant what I said. You're aren't alone anymore, Ben." Without waiting for a reply, she ducked out of the hut, and Ben was left staring after her, a small smile on his face.

After a quick breakfast, the two began to explore the island. They wandered up the craggy paths, and the green slowly gave way to grey as they climbed higher. Eventually, they came to the entrance to a small cave, and tentatively slipped inside. They climbed higher and higher until they came to a room, and on the other side lay an opening, exposing the ocean. There was a stone platform, and an energy radiated from it unlike any Ben had encountered before. He slowly approached the platform, and Myeaé lingered behind him, watching.

Ben reached out, touching the stones. He could feel the Force was strong there, and he took a few deep breaths, taking it all in. He knew this energy. It was Luke's, but it was also Rey. She had been here. He swallowed painfully, and removed his hand from the platform. This would be a good place to meditate if need be. He would have to learn to accept his reality eventually, and maybe it could start here.

"Ben."

He turned and saw Myeaé was staring passed him. Her eyes were bugging out of her head, and she pointed a somewhat shaky finger towards something behind him. He immediately drew his mother's lightsaber, and it thrummed to life, as he whirled on the spot, coming face to face with —

Luke.

The same blue glow surround his former master and uncle, and he had a small smile on his face, and his eyebrow was quirked upwards. He eyed Leia's saber, before looking past Ben, and towards Myeaé.

"Hello, Mye."

Myeaé instantly dropped to her knees. Her expression was filled with sorrow, "Master Luke." She vent double, head pressed to the stone floor, in a low bow. Her lightsaber fell from her belt, and skittered across the floor to Luke's feet. He looked down at it, but didn't move. He looked back at Myeaé and, stepping over her fallen saber, which Ben quickly pulled to his own hand, knelt in front of the young woman.

"Mye, get up. This isn't necessary."

Myeaé looked up, her eyes shining. She wiped them furiously, before clambering to her feet, her knees covered in dirt. "I'm sorry. It's just… it's been so many years."

"I know," Luke replied. "I'm sorry I didn't look for you sooner. I'm sorry I didn't make contact. I've made many mistakes. But, hopefully, through you both, I can rectify them, even only a little."

"I hope we can make you proud, Master." Myeaé murmured.

Luke looked for an instant remorseful, but it quickly faded. "You will. Both of you." He added, turning to Ben, who forced a smile, before looking around the room.

"Luke, what is this place?"

Luke followed his gaze, speaking quietly. "This is where I became one with the Force. Where I first tried to train Rey." He looked back at Ben, "It holds significance. That's probably why you came here first. I know she was important to you."

Ben felt Myeaé's eyes on him, and he tried to ignore them. While she knew Rey's part in his life, he had tried to hide just how deeply he had fallen for her. It wasn't something he was ready to discuss. Though, judging by the conflict he felt coming from her, it would be a conversation they'd have to have sooner or later.

He turned back to Luke. "What do we do now?" He'd deliberately avoided the comment about Rey, and Luke seemed to understand. The Jedi master turned to his two former students.

"Settle here, find your places. Learn from one another and practice. Then, and only then, can you find others to teach, and build a new Order." Ben started to ask him another question, when Myeaé's lightsaber was ripped from his hand, and flew back to her. She caught it, surprised, and they both looked at one another. They turned back to Luke, but found he had vanished again. Ben sighed angrily. It was getting really tiresome. He turned to Myeaé, who was watching him, an odd expression on her face.

"I guess we need to establish more here. Should we go off world and get more supplies? I'm sure there an outpost somewhere near here." When she didn't speak, he took a step towards her. "Mye?"

She took a small step away, and suddenly drew her lightsaber. The green glow illuminated the small cave, and Ben stared at her in shock. Was she going to attack him? When he began to ask, she spoke.

"Luke told us to learn from one another. If that isn't code for "have at it", I don't know what is. Come one, let's fight." Without another word, she took off out of the cave, the green light slowly fading behind her. Ben stared after her, mouth agape.

"Mye?" He called, and when he heard nothing in response, he shouted, "Mye!" Nothing. Grumbling to himself about how unpredictable some women could be, he took off after her.

He was barely out of the cavern when his head was nearly chopped off by Myeaé swinging her lightsaber. Thankfully, he had sensed it before it happened. He managed to duck, drawing his own lightsaber as he did. He straightened up, looking wildly around for her. Ahead of him, he saw her step out from behind a rock, a grin on her face.

"Nice dodge, Solo." She twirled the green plasma in her left hand like a baton. "Your reflexes have gotten better."

Ben clenched his jaw. He didn't want to hurt her by mistake, but everything be damned if he would let her win. She charged him now, and he readied himself. She was almost upon him when he used the Force to fling her sideways. She yelped as she flew through the air, managing to twist her body so it hit the rocks feet first. She pushed off, flipping back only the ground. Her red hair whipped around as she snapped her head up to flare at him.

"Lucky shot," she growled out, and Ben snorted.

"I was always better at Force manipulation than you were."

"So teach me." She leapt at him, bringing her lightsaber down towards him. He parried her, and their weapons clashed with a deafening hum. Myeaé pulled back, using her body's height to her advantage. She ducked as he swung above her, clumsily, as if he were learning all over again. Knowing for once he wasn't fighting to kill was messing him up. She was treating it almost more like a dance, whereas he was stumbling blindly. He knew how to use the Force, whereas she was incredibly rusty. They were evenly, but oddly, matched. Each possessed their own strengths, but each lacked desperately in other areas.

Their sabres crashed and fizzled, blue and green, as they swung, grunting and yelling, each trying to take the other down. Myeaé twirled, her saber spinning above her head like a propeller, and Ben pushed her backwards with a burst of power. She stumbled, but dodged his oncoming assault, her hair nearly being cut off at the nape of her neck as she did. She was laughing, sweat beading her forehead, and Ben felt his own form of stranger exhilaration as they dueled. He hadn't trained with someone in years, and he had to admit, it felt really nice. His muscles were starting to ache, and he felt his skin become slick with sweat. He needed to end this; they had other things they needed to be focusing on.

As though she had heard is thoughts, Myeaé suddenly crouched, sweeping her leg beneath him, and he felt his own leg give out. He fell hard on his back, but as he went down, he grabbed her out of instinct, and she shrieked as she too collapsed beside him. Dust flew up around them as they lay side by side on the rocky, moss covered ground. Myeaé was taking in lungfuls of air, and Ben felt a bruise forming on is lower back. He hissed in pain as he sat up, and beside him on the ground, Myeaé started to laugh. It reached a fever pitch of raucous cackling as she lay here, her eyes shut. Ben couldn't help but chuckle as he looked back at her, laying there, covered in dirt and sweat. He was reminded so much of their time together as children that for a moment it felt as though no time had passed. He could have easily been a teenager again, and they could easily be back at Luke's temple. He felt her move as she sat up, wiping dirt off her hands.

"That was great." She wiped her brow, and shot him a grin. "You're a maniac with a lightsaber. Not to mention that neat trick with the Force. It's been too long since I trained properly. I'll need more practice in that area, for sure."

Ben got up, helping her to her feet. They began to descend the steps again, back towards the stone huts. "I forgot how graceful you were with your lightsaber. Almost like you were dancing."

"Dueling was my favourite part about training as a Jedi." Myeaé admitted as they walked, "Even back then, I was never strong with the Force. Physical fighting was a better strong suit of mine."

"When I was trying to save Rey," Ben muttered,"I didn't even think about anything, just her. I don't even remember fighting the knights, or Palpatine. I think I over thought it just now, and that's how you were able to trip me. As Kylo Ren, I rarely had people trying to sneak up on me."

"I can only imagine," Myeaé said softly, giving him a sidelong look. "Well, we can help each other. It feels good to train again. It feels right." Ben nodded in agreement, inwardly glad that he had her there with him, and that she hadn't pressed the matter about Rey just yet. They'd get there. He'd get there. Eventually.

* * *

Ben picked up a piece of fruit from the table, and threw it at the back of Myeaé's head. It bounced off her hair, and she cried out. Her back was to him, and her hand flew to her head. She whirled around on the spot to glare at him, ceasing her chopping of other vegetables for their evening soup.

They had spent the rest of the day exploring the rest of their island, and had even crammed into the X-wing and took a short fly around to see what else was there. Ahch-To was mostly covered in water, they found, with small islands here and there. It seemed the one they had landed on was the biggest, so they decided it was best to stay there. Myeaé had gushed every few minutes about how beautiful the planet was, and Ben had watched her leaping over rocks and moss to see what lay ahead. He had smiled rather fondly as she had, glad he wasn't there alone. Myeaé seemed to have come out of her shell a little more in those few days, and he was grateful for it. Had she remained cold to him, he wasn't sure how he'd have been able to fulfill his new destiny.

Now, however, she looked ready to cut him in half.

"What the hell was that for?!" She demanded, grabbing the piece of fruit, and throwing it back at him. He caught it easily, tossing it back into the basket from whence it came, a sly grin on his face.

"You'll need better reaction time than that. If that had been me, I could've caught it without turning around."

Myeaé gave him a withering look, her lower lid twitching. "Get off my back, I haven't really used the Force in years, aside from little things!"

"I'll have to teach then, won't I?" Ben grinned picking up another piece of fruit, and biting into it.

Myeaé scowled at him. "Keep talking, Solo, and I might just smother you in your sleep tonight."

Ben raised a brow, "Only if you can sneak up on me. Good luck." He laughed as she rolled her eyes. She went back to cooking, and he sat, chair leaned back, watching her. Eventually, she turned around, bringing two bowls over, filled with a thick brown stew. It smelled amazing, and Ben was glad for it. First Order food had been so...simple. It held the needed nutrients, but that was it. Nothing about it had been in any way flavourful. He thanked her, taking the steaming bowl. Myeaé sat down across from him, and the two ate in silence for a few minutes.

"Tell me about Rey."

Ben started, almost choking on his soup. He looked up at Myeaé, and found her grey eyes piercing into his dark ones. She looked sad, but somewhat hopeful. Her expression was very torn, and Ben felt his heart beat a little faster.

"What?" He knew perfectly well what she had asked him, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to answer.

She looked back down at her soup, playing with it, but not eating it. "I know it's hard for you. I see the way you get when she's mentioned." Her voice was quiet, and she looked back up at him. "I know what I felt in the Force, and what I saw in your mind." She put her spoon down, "But you're hiding something. If we're going to be spending all this time together, we'll need to be open with one another."

She had a point, and Ben knew that. But there were some things he didn't want to revisit. At least, he felt it was the best choice. He chose snark as shield against her question. "I don't see any rules anywhere saying that's necessary." He focused back on his soup, feeling badly for being rude, but knowing how even thinking about Rey hurt his heart, let alone talking about her.

"Ben…" Myeaé sounded sad, but then she sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. Forget I said anything." He could hear the hurt in her tone, and he looked back up at her.

"No, Mye, it's okay. I just…" He trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence. As if she had read his mind, Myeaé spoke again.

"You loved her, didn't you?"

The words caught him off guard. Ben felt his skin grow cold, as every memory of Rey came rushing back. He could see her in his mind's eye as clearly as he saw Myeaé sitting in front of him. He could hear her voice, and see the confusion and pain in her face. He heard her telling him how she'd wanted to take Ben Solo's hand, not Kylo Ren's. How she had seen the shape of his future. How happy she had looked to see him arrive to help her fight Palpatine. How blank her expression was as he held her lifeless body in his arms... He took a steady breath, focusing in on the living woman in front of him. He knew she would always wonder, and despite knowing she wouldn't press the matter, he knew he couldn't hide it forever.

"I think I did, yes." He suddenly felt no longer hungry, and put his spoon down. He felt Myeaé watching him as he continued. "I think she was something like a soulmate." The words broke him, and he looked down, blinking rapidly. Why was he deserving of being here, being alive when she was gone? Someone who was so good, so strong; she was gone, and the world was left with the broken husk that was Ben Solo. Today had been easier, but he knew he'd carry this guilt with him wherever he went. At least he knew once he had helped train a new Order of Jedi that he would be redeemed. He could finally feel like he had done some good for the galaxy. Until then, he knew he could never truly be happy. He didn't feel like he had earned that, yet. Melancholy, yes, but true. To him, anyway.

"Ben, I'm so sorry." Myeaé's voice cut through the bitter fog filling his mind. He looked back at her, and found her hand was resting on his. She squeezed once, before pulling back.

He gave her a rueful smile, before muttering. "I'm just… I'm so angry I didn't realize it before it was too late. I could've been with her. I could've help the Resistance. I could've seen my mother, and my father. I could've — " He was cut off abruptly by Myeaé's objection.

"Stop."

He stared at her. "What?"

She was shaking her head. "This is the cause of those nightmares, Ben. It's all this guilt you're carrying. You're letting it eat away at you." He knew there was truth to her words, but nonetheless, he felt as though he deserved it; the nightmares, the guilt, all of it. She continued, leaning back to look at him. "I don't remember much from your family, but I know they wouldn't want you to feel like this. And from what you've told me about Rey…" She paused carefully, eyeing him, "she wouldn't either. I know _I_ don't, at the very least."

Ben's expression softened, and reached over to pat her hand rather awkwardly. "Thanks, Mye."

She raised a brow at the gesture, and they both shared a soft laugh. She stood, taking their bowls. "You're welcome." She called over her shoulder as she cleaned up. When she had finished, she came back over to the table, features amplified by the flames in the hearth. She sat across from him, and he was reminded of when he had Rey had connected and touched hands for the first time. The memory pulled at his heart, but he found, in that moment, it wasn't as bad as before.

Myeaé looked at him, her eyes searching his face. They rested for a moment on the scar Rey had given him over a year before. She shook her head, sighing softly. "You don't need to do any of this alone anymore, Ben. I'm here, and so is Master Luke, apparently." She smirked, and he felt a small grin tug at his mouth. "And," she added, "from what you've told me, so is your mother. And soon, we'll have students here who need you, and who rely on us. You can do good by them."

Ben nodded. They had a mission now, and he knew there were Force sensitive people out there who could use their help. Maybe Myeaé was right. Maybe he _could_ make a difference.

"I want to do good by them." He whispered. Myeaé smiled again, and reached across the table to take his hands in hers. Her fingers were freezing, despite the warmth of the room, and Ben instinctively squeezed his hands around hers. He was glad she was there.

"You will."

Her response helped more than she knew.

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**A/N: Another one down! I likely won't be able to upload tomorrow, because I'll be out of town all day. I'll plan, and likely update again on Sunday. Bear with me, folks. Have a great weekend!**


	6. Decisions

**A/N:** **Hello, everyone! I hath returned. It was a long day this Saturday, and I am glad to be able to relax and write again. I can't believe this fic has reached almost 2000 views already! That's insane! And thank you to my loyal reviewer(s), you are awesome!**

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**Disclaimer:** **I own nothing except Myeaé Barann. All Rights for **_**Star Wars**_ **belong to Luacasfilm, and Disney.**

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_The Last Skywalker_

**Chapter Six**

**Decisions**

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_Ahch-To_

Several days passed as the two Jedi acclimated to their new lives on Ahch-To. Myeaé had taken to cooking for the two of them, seeing as Ben had little experience in the matter. She teased him for it, but he knew she didn't really mind. He had taken to picking out places to teach their incoming students, and he had actually begun meditating in the spot where Luke had become one with the Force. He knew his former master didn't mind. Had he minded, Ben was certain he'd have been thrown off the cliff by now.

Their conversation about his nightmares, and Rey, had seemed to day the last night they'd discussed it. Ben found his nightmares had been slightly better, but still present. He didn't find he was waking up in a cold sweat anymore, and when he did, he found Myeaé somewhere nearby. She would either be sleeping while leaning on his bed, curled up on the floor, or sometimes she would be awake, and would gently talk him back down to sleep. He didn't know how to tell her how grateful he was, so he hoped she somehow knew. He would find a way to repay her, one way or another.

Lately, they had been discussing plans to start finding students.

"We need to go get Kara and the rest of them from Naboo."

Myeaé was seated across from him, braiding her long red hair, voice slightly distorted due to the hair tie between her teeth. She eyed him, cross legged, fingers working furiously. Ben looked up from fiddling with his mother's lightsaber's hilt. He nodded.

"I know; do you have any ideas?"

Myeaé finished with her hair, and began to chew her inner cheek, looking a moment, she suggested, "We could just break them out?" He saw a sly grin forming on her face, and he felt himself rolling his eyes.

"Are you joking, or being serious?" He threw her a look, and it was her turn to roll her eyes.

She looked exasperated. "I'm joking, of course! I worked there for years, I know how unethical that would be. The problem is, we can't just adopt all of them, either. It'll look too suspicious." She played with the end of her braid, eyes scanning the room, as though the answer lay somewhere nearby.

"How many are there?" Ben moved from his position on his bed, and came to join her on the floor. He handed her a piece of bread from the loaf he had been picking at, which she gratefully accepted.

"Other than Kara, there are two others." She took a bite of bread, and chewed for a moment, thinking. "Three doesn't seem like a lot, but it'll look strange if we try to take just those three, instead of the rest of the kids."

Ben thought for a moment, before saying, "What if instead, you just say you're visiting, and maybe we can sneak them out one by one? No literal kidnapping needed."

Myeaé fixed him with a quizzical stare. "Just...bribery. With the reward being becoming a Jedi?" There was an edge to her voice, and Ben felt himself flush.

"...yes." He muttered, and Myeaé's lips quivered with mild mirth.

After a moment, she stated, "That is a terrible idea, Ben." A light chuckle escaped her, and Ben scoffed openly.

"Do you have any better ones?"

That shut her up. She scowled at him. "...no." Her response was reluctant, and Ben grinned at her triumphantly, to which she stuck her tongue out at him. He laughed, climbing to his feet, and helping her to hers.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's head back to Naboo."

* * *

_Naboo_

The trip back to Naboo was an uneventful one. The two remained mostly quiet, only speaking when they needed to. Ben could sense Myeaé's worry, so he didn't try to bother her too much. She sat quietly beside him, staring out into the galaxy, her grey eyes glazed over. He watched her sometimes, wondering if there _was _anything he could say to help, but he usually decided against it.

When they finally reached Naboo, they landed close to the same spot Ben had landed the first time. They climbed out of the cargo ship, and hurried off into the forest leading to the city. Myeaé told Ben to hide his lightsaber in the leather bag she had brought, just in case, and despite grumbling about it, he obliged. He knew they didn't want to draw any unneeded attention to themselves, even if it felt like he was stowing one of his own limbs in there.

When they arrived at the orphanage, Myeaé paused, staring up at the building. Wordlessly, Ben placed a hand on her shoulder, and she glanced sideways at him, nodding slowly. She was nervous, he knew that, but it was time. Myeaé pushed open the doors to the orphanage, and they stepped inside.

"Rhea!"

The two froze, as a woman with pale blue skin stood up from behind the counter that Ben had first spotted Myeaé. She hair was a bright white, and her eyes a deep ebony. She smiled widely at Myeaé, before rounding the counter, and embracing the young woman. Myeaé gave her a strained smile.

"Hello, Matron Asha'la. It's good to see you again." She quickly gestured to Ben, "This is my friend, Ben. He's been helping me, off world." Ben nodded, feeling an awkward smile pass along his face, and raised a hand in greeting. Matron Asha'la fixed him with a smile, as well, before turning back to Myeaé.

"Are you all finished with your business, then?"

Myeaé shook her head, and the Matron's face fell. "No, and I'm afraid it looks like it's going to keep me from returning here permanently. I just came to get the rest of my things, and say goodbye to the children." She tried to look apologetic, but to Ben, she just looked stressed.

Matron Asha'la didn't seem to notice. "Oh, that is sad. I must say we have missed having you around." She squeezed Myeaé's shoulders, and the redhead looked a little sad.

"That's kind, Matron, thank you." She took her hands, and squeezed once, before dropping them. "If you'll excuse us." The Matron nodded, before moving aside to allow them to pass. They hurried off down the hallway.

"Now what?" Ben asked as they strode.

Myeaé looked around wildly, before answering. "I'll round up the kids. I don't have anything else left in my room, but if you want to meet me in the garden, there's a back exit we can take into the alley behind the orphanage. That'll be our best escape route."

Ben raised a brow. "So, we are going with literal kidnapping, then?"

Myeaé gave him a look. "No, we are going with the "I think you could be a Jedi, and I want to help you" plan."

"So, bribery. Got it."

"_Ben._"

"Okay, okay. I'm going."

They parted ways, but not before she gave him his lightsaber back, and Ben returned to the garden in which Myeaé had reclaimed hers. He hovered underneath a dark green tree bearing yellow fruit, slightly worried. He hoped she wouldn't get caught, because if she did, he didn't know what they would do. As Kylo Ren, his solution had just been to kill everyone. Here, he was sure that wouldn't go over well. That, and he didn't want to.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Myeaé reappeared, with three people in two. One was the little girl, Kara, from before, and the other two were two boys, one around eleven, and the other around fifteen.

"Ben, you remember Kara." Myeaé placed a hand on the head of the little girl, fondly. She then gestured to the boys, "And these two are Arlen," she pointed to the younger one, "and Anders. They're brothers."

Arlen eyed Ben, "Are you going to help Myeaé teach us how to be Jedi?" He was missing some baby teeth.

Ben glanced at Myeaé, "You told them everything?" When she nodded quickly, he turned back to Arlen, "Yes. I am."

Anders spoke next, his eyes cold. "If you're a Jedi, prove it."

Myeaé turned to glare at the boy, "Anders." Her tone was stern, but he ignored her. His eyes were travelling between her and Ben.

"Look, I came out here because I was curious. I find out today your name isn't even Rhea, _and _you say you trained under Luke Skywalker!" His voice rose, and Myeaé hushed him.

"Hush, do you want us to get caught?" When Anders looked slightly ashamed, she sighed. "_Fine_, you want proof? Fine." She began to reach into her bag, and Ben saw her pull out her lightsaber.

Ben took a step towards her, his shadow completely covering Kara, who stared up at his tall frame in mild awe. "Mye… We need to leave. We don't have time for this." He tried to keep the urgency out of his voice, but she waved it off.

"It's fine, Ben." Without another word, her lightsaber came to life, its green glow illuminating the entire garden. Myeaé scowled at Anders from behind her saber, who stared in amazement, his mouth hanging open.

"Oh, _wow!_" His brother, Arlen, looked somewhere between impressed, and intimidated, and Kara just looked scared.

Seeing this, Myeaé quickly put it away, before gently patting Kara's head. "Satisfied?" She shot at Anders, who still looked stunned.

"You have a _lightsaber?_"

Myeaé nodded curtly. "So does Ben." She began ushering the children towards the back alley door. "Now, we need to _go_." However, before they were out the door, a voice rang out behind them.

"Hold on, what's going on here? Where are you going?"

They all stopped dead in their tracks. Ben turned and saw Matron Asha'la standing there, looking both confused, and angry. She took a few steps towards them, and Myeaé, panicking, spoke first.

"Shit. Uh, _you didn't see anything_." Ben realized she was trying to use a Jedi Mind Trick. And failing horribly. He stared at her, incredulous.

"Really? _That's_ your best attempt?"

Myeaé turned to glare at him, "Shut up! I was never good at Jedi Mind Tricks!" The children all looked between them, as though watching two quarreling parents. Ben suddenly froze.

_Quarreling parents!_ Of course!

He turned to face the Matron. He had always had a gift with the Force. He fixed a fake smile on his face, before putting an arm around Myeaé, who flinched, and stared at him, her expression both confused, and mildly irritated. "_These are our children, we are a family._" Ben said, his voice calm, and collected. He continued to smile at the Matron, "_We need to go home now. You will let us leave._"

For a moment, Matron Asha'la stared at them in perplexed anger. Then, her face relaxed, and her usual smile returned. "I will let you leave. You have a beautiful family." She turned on the spot, and walked back into the orphanage.

There was a long pause, before Myeaé burst out: "Holy shit, _Ben!_ That was incredible!" She grabbed him into a quick hug, but upon realizing it, quickly let go.

Ben gave her a strained smile, "Thank me later; _go!_" The five of them then raced out the back door, and into the streets of the city.

* * *

_Space_

"That was close. We are so getting arrested if we ever go back there."

They were back on the cargo ship, and barrelling through space back to Ahch-To. The kids were all strapped into seats behind them, and Myeaé was leaning over the pilot's chair, chatting to Ben as he flew. Her long braid occasionally brushed his shoulder, but he ignored it. Myeaé had gushed at him for a good ten minutes after getting into the ship about how he had used the Jedi Mind Trick against the Matron. The kids had seemed pretty impressed, too, and for that he was grateful.

"Was it worth it?" He asked, as they flew, stars becoming blurs around them.

Myeaé thought for a moment before answering. "Yes. These kids now have a chance at a better life than growing up in an orphanage. Was it the right thing to do?" Another paused. "No. Was it ethical? _Hell_ no. But, was it worth it?" He could hear the grin in her voice. "Oh, yes." Ben chuckled lightly, and Myeaé beamed down at him. Behind them, they heard Anders call out.

"How did you do that?" Ben knew without looking that the question was directed at him.

"Do what?" He replied evenly.

"How did you convince the Matron we were a family?" Anders sounded genuinely interested, and Ben felt a smile tug at his mouth. He was reminded of a younger version of himself; always curious, always needing to learn.

"I used something called a Jedi Mind Trick." He called back to the boy over his shoulder. "I can teach you, if you want."

"Not right away, though." Myeaé interject quickly. "It'll come later. First, we need to teach you the basics."

"Will we get our own lightsabers?" Arlen asked.

"Yes, in time." Myeaé replied, "For now, you'll learn with sticks."

"_Sticks?_" Anders sounded affronted.

"Yes, Anders, sticks." Myeaé's tone was one that indicated she wasn't going to be argued with, and the children went back to talking amongst one another. Kara seemed to be the only one who was just happy to be there. She had clung to Myeaé the entire way back to the ship, and Myeaé had promised Kara could sleep in her room with her when they arrived back on Ahch-To. It had been a sweet interaction to see.

"You know," Myeaé commented as they flew, "we'll need to go off world a few more times to find more children, or anyone really, who are Force Sensitive. But we shouldn't go alone."

Ben nodded, not taking his eyes off the galaxy before them. "I agree."

Myeaé came around and learned against the main console, watching him. "Good, so we need to find someone to watch the children on Ahch-To while we are gone."

Startled, Ben looked away to stare at her. "Wait, what?" As he did, he narrowing avoid running into an oncoming asteroid. Behind them, the children cried out in surprise. "Sorry! Sorry." Ben called back, before turning back to Myeaé, who was suppressing laughter.

"You heard me." She continued, folding her arms. "I won't let you go alone to find more kids, and I don't want to go alone. In case something happens to one of us, we'll need backup." She had a point, but Ben didn't like where she was going with this. "So," she continued, "we need to find someone who can watch the new recruits while we're gone. Do you know anyone we might be able to trust with a bunch of kids, who happens to also be Force Sensitive?"

Her words hung in the air for a moment, and Ben considered them. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew someone who fit that exact description. Someone he wished didn't, and someone he knew would not be happy to see him, or anyone associated with him, ever again. He shut his eyes, taking a slow breath in.

Fuck.

He opened his eyes, and saw Myeaé waiting expectedly. He sighed. "I know one. But he said if I ever show my face near him again, he'll kill me."

**A/N: Yay, another one down! This one was considerably shorter, but I hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless! And, if I don't update till then, have a Happy New Year!**


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